Depression Got Me Playing With Knife On My Body

If I could go back in time and tell my younger self one thing it would be to never start cutting myself. When I was in my second year of high school and the stresses that were put on me to succeed and get certain grades in all my classes, kind of got to me I was never a great student, I was never good at tests, I was a C student at best when I cut myself for the first time. I kind of thought hey this works.  I don't feel depressed anymore and I didn't realize how hard it would be to keep them covered all the time if somebody saw them I would just say like oh my cat scratched me or something like that it got really hard during gym class, self-harm is an addiction once you start, it's nearly impossible to stop. It's been almost 10 years since I've started. It's still happening, if something goes wrong at work or if I fail a test, cutting myself is the very first thing that comes to mind and that's a very scary thing to realize in the face.

A few years ago my parents found out what I was doing and my mom yelled at me saying that she didn't bring me into this world for me to cut myself up, hearing that kind of made me face myself and realize, like what I was doing is not only harmful for me but harmful for everyone around me, I've always been ashamed of this harmful habit but you know what, I'm doing my best to get better and stop. It's just difficult when the smallest thing can land you right back into that headspace. I still have the scars and looking at them is very painful but scars fade, eventually I may not be able to fully fix myself right now but I'm trying and I want to at least help those around me who are suffer depression . If you're ever thinking or considering doing self-harm, please don't it's a slippery dangerous slope that you do not want to go down please talk to someone. Talk to a loved one, get help just don't start, we all have things that were struggling with and we want to tell you about a way through your struggles